They Don't

I'm obsessed with the NYT Vows column, mostly to verify weekly that a) I am still young and b) that, unlike my own parents, people apparently sometimes marry people they did not meet in college. My Vows binges have also lead me to realize that some relationships will never make it into the column:

When the couple met at a party thrown by mutual friends, the bride recalls feeling an instant kinship, but quickly ruled out romance. "I was so comfortable around him, but I was sure he was gay," she laughs.

Sparks flew with their initial meeting, but there was a hitch: "in the morning, I couldn't remember her name!" The groom, no stranger to factchecking, was relieved to discover a stack of magazines in the bathroom. "I checked the address label. Thank goodness for Harpers!"

Infatuated, the bride attended her new boyfriend's improv show. Afterward, the couple faced their first roadblock. "He wasn't funny," she says. "Not at all. I spent the second act wondering what I could possibly say to him after."